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Sweet Degenerate

by Jordan Popky

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1.
Reaching Out 01:10
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2.
Ghost Stories 04:00
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You creep through the gaps in conversation Reach up from the cracks in the foundation Of my mind Eroded over time I fall in I never see it coming I’ve forgotten how to fight or fly I’m paralyzed, who gave you the right Sometimes it feels like healing in reverse Peeling open wounds to kill the hurt I once felt fine Like this body was mine But I forgot To rip away the rot I can still feel your voice under my skin I hate letting people see you win And this is the closest I can get To anger anymore My unchecked rage couldn’t push you away So what good is it for Sometimes I feel like a child Telling ghost stories around the campfire And I don’t know if I believe them myself
3.
Delicate 04:47
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Delicate Call me delicate I can give or take a hit But you’re gonna run See me, pretty little flower To pluck and devour But I’m not the one Soft mirage, fair illusion Side effect of male delusion I know exactly how I read Self expression, self preservation Buying time in your hesitation Cherry picking parts you get to see Delicate Sweet degenerate Labeled by limits That I won’t abide Test me (test me), press me for my uses Feeling for bruises You’d be lucky to find Soft mirage, fair illusion Deliver on what you’re alluding Trust me when I say “say what you mean” Gentle ‘cause your feeling kind But I’m cursed with a wandering mind Grip tight or I unravel at the seams Your eyes will adjust To the juxtaposition Don’t start giving Up on getting more I could go down smooth like honey Melt to putty But you don’t ask for more Soft mirage, fair illusion Side effect of your delusion Thinking that you’ve got a read Promise that you’re hard to manage I’m not one to fail a challenge If you follow through on pushing me
4.
Last Words 05:13
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On a southbound bus I’m having chilling visions Hoping that worrying Won’t bring them to fruition And I can see myself jumping out this window When grief that I don’t need to feel Gets too close, too close, too close Before it’s even real Lately I’ve been waking to my nightmares coming true Am I cursing all my loved ones every time I read the news Don’t get in the car. Why don’t you stay for one more night? I don’t have to wonder while I’ve got you in my sight I speak in last words every time we say goodbye I speak in last words every time I speak in last words every time we say goodbye I speak in last words every time Anxiety Pretends to manifest Crying out confirmation At each unlucky guess Faced with no real explanation It’s easier to take the blame Chalk it all up to a phone call That I should have made Lately I’ve been waking to my nightmares coming true Am I cursing all my loved ones every time I read the news Please don’t start the car ‘cause I’m not ready for the drive Sit and wait for hours while I wait to hear you’re fine I speak in last words every time we say goodbye I speak in last words every time I speak in last words every time we say goodbye I speak in last words every time I know it’s not real I know it does nothing Just another superstition As is I could catch fate bluffing But I can’t shake the feeling that I’m running out of time Like I’m too bold in assuming there’s a minimum to mine If I’m gonna go, I want to leave something behind Unmistaken love without a doubt clouding your mind I speak in last words every time we say goodbye I speak in last words every time I speak in last words every time we say goodbye I speak in last words every time
5.
Mahogany 05:58
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You picked the 000-15 And put it in my name So this guitar would last a lifetime When you couldn't do the same Those words flooded my mind On the bolt bus, early March I knew I wouldn't have forever But I thought this was the start I listened to our voices Harmonies against the band I hold each note like a gift The way I held onto your hand Warm like mahogany Reverberating where my heart must be Warm like mahogany Underneath it all We all shared a single room Back at the Golden Rail Motel So, curled up in a cold reclining chair I pretended I was twelve And it turns out hearts get heavy When they grow too full of love When you left all yours behind I found I wasn't strong enough When it was just the two of us My words felt weak and thin I hope I was right in thinking You might like to hear me sing Warm like mahogany Reverberating between our heartbeats Warm like mahogany Underneath it all They gave us ten more minutes with you One of many long goodbyes And I remember thinking One last time, we are five And everybody knew me And everybody cried And I heard so many stories That it felt like stealing time And I will never understand Why you had Paul sing "In The Pines" But now I smile when I hear it So maybe that was why Warm like mahogany Everything I have is what you gave to me Warm like mahogany Underneath it all
6.
Something To Walk Away From 05:18
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You break into a door you know I need closed Fit your shoe in the frame And beg me not to break your toes I know what you’re doing I know that it isn’t okay How do I hold a boundary When you think you might die if I push you away You need me broken To feel like I need you at all I've tried to be patient But the space in my mind has grown small You want to be someone to lean on So you kick in my knees To catch me when I fall That’s not love That is something to walk away from I can’t help you the way that you swear that you need I hold what I can But I can’t be your centerpiece You give up too much You make me fill every role Digging heels into quicksand You know if you’re in danger then I won't let go You need me broken To feel like I need you at all I've tried to be patient But the space in my mind has grown small You want to be someone to lean on So you kick in my knees To catch me when I fall That’s not love That is something to walk away from You need me broken To feel like I need you at all I've tried to be patient But I've watched myself grow so damn small You want to be someone to lean on So you kick in my knees To catch me when I fall That’s not love That is something to walk away from That’s not love That is something to walk away from
7.
Who You're Holding 03:47
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I’ve been held So tenderly Like a tiny bird In a fallen tree Cupped in hands That felt strong and safe Carried far To be thrown away So if you’re going to pick me up Remind me where we’re going And if you want me, tell me so Or I will never know it I’ve been lifted By the heart A fragile pull To steady arms And when my pulse Began to slow They opened up And let me go So if you’re going to pull me close Remember who you’re holding And if you want me, tell me so Or I will never know it And tossed aside ‘Neath autumn leaves I hide myself From thoughtless thieves They cast a net And pull a tow But only want Who they don’t know
8.
The Wolf & The Shark 04:44
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Blood red skirt curling 'round my thighs Swaying with the stumbling of tipsy knee highs Shoulders bared in the bare moonlight He watched me walk the victory garden path that night Headphones in on an old familiar street Music drowning out the whispers in the trees No streetlights to reveal the shadow following my feet Up past the city's bedtime, it was only him and me Be wary of strangers Beware of the night Take care, there are dangers that lurk in your sight You stray from the pack And hunt in the dark Now who's afraid of the wolf, and who's afraid of the shark I feel your eyes as you steady for the strike A coward only ambushes when he can't win a fight Me, I wait in silence 'cause I like to be precise Blood beckons in the water like a blackout candle light Spreading stain and a look of surprise Thought yourself immune, and hubris turned you blind All alone on a quiet night You were asking for it, so I simply obliged Be wary of strangers Beware of the night Take care, there are dangers that lurk in your sight You stray from the pack And hunt in the dark Now who's afraid of the wolf, and who's afraid of the shark I know your type, so weak and so vile Rarely worth the scrutiny of taking you to trial You can't reach the phone that you've started to dial Baby I might make the call if you just give me a smile Be wary of strangers Beware of the night Take care, there are dangers that lurk in your sight You stray from the pack And hunt in the dark Now who's afraid of the wolf, and who's afraid of the shark
9.
Tired of the Fight 03:27
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Talk like I’m not in the room You’re surprised that I can’t split myself in two Problem and the confidante I don’t get to choose Relegate me to a pattern Write questions that fit your answers Tired of the fight I don’t know why I try Because you’re always right I’m not gonna change your mind Talking back is walking through a wall Bending over backwards does nothing at all Beg you to say you want to stay But you can only stall Inundate me with observations Erase your blame through explanations Tired of the fight I don’t know why I try Because you’re always right I’m not gonna change your mind Yet here I am protecting I’m covering it up Smile like syllables Of your name don’t leave cuts in my mouth I wanted work this out Now I’m tired of the fight I don’t know why I try… Tired of the fight I don’t know why I try Because you’re always right I’m not gonna change your mind
10.
Cradle the Flame 03:42
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I don’t know how to explain It’s not just the pain My body wanes on a whim Like a battery drained Or the weight of the day Snapping invisible strings Stalling out in an empty office Moving train becomes a coffin Where I lay my plans to rest Cradle the flame Can I keep it going for just a little longer Fake it with grace I have fooled the world into thinking that I’m stronger Letting them take From the broken pieces they tell me to honor Cradle the flame Burn it soft and slow while I run for the water It’s like an old fading dream Lost source of prestige It feels too near to forget Try to cling to caffeine Fighting flickering screens Achievements turn into threats Actions act like ultimatums Each demands a cost - I pay them In a rundown race to rest Cradle the flame Can I keep it going for just a little longer Fake it with grace I have fooled the world into thinking that I’m stronger Letting them take From the broken pieces they tell me to honor Cradle the flame Burn it soft and slow while I run for the water Build a smoke signal Make someone see With the only kindling within reach, me I fuel the fire Burn and decline But look at that beautiful light Cradle the flame Can I keep it going for just a little longer Fake it with grace I have fooled the world into thinking that I’m stronger Come take a taste I am nothing more than what I have to offer Cradle the flame Burning low and begging for water
11.
Measure of the Damage 02:53
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You and I both know You’re unacquainted with permission Make me think I’m in the wrong To get me to forgive one And I did Now I won’t Offer your apology I find that I don’t need it Guilt wears down your ego now You’re asking me to feed it And I did Now I won’t Ask if I’m alright Not to see if I can manage It’s never about me. I’m just the Measure of the damage Caught you lying so many times Thought by now you’d be better But every stale performance Still reads desperate as ever And it’s been Far too long Ask if I’m alright Not to see if I can manage It’s never about me. I’m just the Measure of the damage Ask if I’m alright Not to see if I can manage It’s never about me. I’m just the Measure of the damage
12.
Drowning 05:59
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I want to run away But I’m too fucking tired Could make it to the roof But I’m convinced that I’d survive And anyway I’m afraid I don’t really want to try I just want to sink I can’t think On the brink Of shutting down The walls fall in An inch at a time It’s hard to breathe But maybe, maybe that’s fine The words easy come when I’m empty They leak out my head A cruel little joke When I can’t even lift a pen And everything feels fruitless My limbs are filled with lead Feel weights on my eyes Pressure rise I can’t buy That there’s an end I’m drowning in An inch of my mind No one can see But maybe, maybe that’s fine Here we are alone Again, my enemy, My own reflection Am I getting old Or is my body finally done collecting More than it can hold I’ve got myself a shadow It sleeps on my chest Can’t seem to make it move So I lay down and let it rest I’m giving in An inch at a time Don’t feel like me But maybe
13.
Songbird 03:38
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14.
Something Sweeter / Last Words / Ghost Stories (Reprise) 02:37
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Bitter cold, bitter drink Better morning, better sing Get the words out Get to keep them Keep on moving Can’t quite feel them And I’m just so tired Can I go home Will you stay beside me In the silence Or let me cry Just don’t leave me alone I will drink my coffee with creamer When I sit with you I’ll indulge in something sweeter While the lilacs are in bloom But I can't shake the feeling that I'm running out of time I've already missed too much of everything I've left behind In a moment, all I hold are memories of love Even though I know that no more time could be enough I wish I'd come home so much more before I should have been there every time Now I've forgotten how to fight or fly I'm held at the mercy of my mind

about

After years of steady releases, Jordan Popky unveils her debut album, Sweet Degenerate, produced by Adam Tilzer, on July 21, 2023. The 14 track album paints a picture of vulnerability and embraces the sonic range of her many influences and styles.

credits

released July 21, 2023

Written by: Jordan Popky & Adam Tilzer
Produced, Recorded, & Mixed by: Adam Tilzer
Mastered by: Oscar Zambrano at Zampol Productions

Featuring (in order of appearance):

Ward Williams*: cello
Adam Tilzer: guitar, bass, keys/synth, mandolin, melodica, banjo, autoharp, omnichord, drum programming, vocals
Danny Bradley: drums
Lexie Lowell: harp
Kiirstin Marilyn: vocals
Dr. Blum: trumpet, accordion
Trophy Wife: vocals
Sarah Mickey: vocals
Ellajay: vocals
Natalie Popky: vocals
Paola Bennet: vocals
Elijah Mann: vocals
Adam Popky: guitar
Maxfield Gast*: saxophone, clarinet, flute
Shay Moulder: ukulele, vocals
Amy Jay: vocals
Rebecca Schlappich: violin
Giselle: vocals
Dani Lyn: vocals
Jake Farber: synth, vocals
Nick Pretel: vocals
Jeff White: bass

Drums recorded at Derek Nievergelt’s studio & The Bunker (with assistant engineer Alex Conroy at The Bunker)

Studio Intern: Leila Pollio
Emotional Support: Floyd the Cowgi & Korra the Studio Cat

*additional writer

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Jordan Popky Brooklyn, New York

Jordan Popky is an indie-alternative singer-songwriter based in Brooklyn. Her roots in the Philadelphia folk scene show in her story-centered lyrics and winding melodies. With influences ranging from the Indigo Girls & Joni Mitchell to Phoebe Bridgers & Cigarettes After Sex, Jordan's unique sound supports her vivid imagery and clear, effective vocals. ... more

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